Have you heard of JOMO? The Joy Of Missing Out

We’ve all heard the term FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). However, in the context of mental health and well-being, JOMO, or the Joy Of Missing Out, is a concept that encourages individuals to prioritize their own health by opting out of certain social contexts to maintain peace and reduce stress. This can be particularly valuable in chaotic, toxic, or stressful situations.

Sometimes, we may feel obligated to attend events, such as family gatherings or workplace functions. However, it’s important to pause and evaluate the risks and benefits of participating. Often, guilt drives us to say yes, but taking a moment to reflect on whether this guilt is healthy or unhealthy can help us make informed decisions.

For instance, imagine a family reunion where you may encounter relatives with whom you have conflicting ideologies or clashing personalities. In such cases, you might determine that you have the coping mechanisms to handle the situation. You may decide to avoid interactions with certain individuals and instead focus on spending quality time with others.

On the other hand, if the situation involves family members who have been abusive—whether emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually—it may be far more challenging to enjoy the gathering. The mere thought of encountering an abuser, especially if the abuse is a hidden family secret, can be extremely distressing. In such cases, it’s important to ask yourself: Is it worth sacrificing your mental health to pretend and engage, or is it better to prioritize your well-being by opting out?

Sometimes, we need to say no to others in order to say yes to ourselves. Each person and situation is unique, and it’s up to you to weigh the pros and cons, as well as the risks and benefits, of participating. If you do choose to attend, be sure to practice self-care both before and after the event. During the gathering, plan ahead for how you will handle potentially triggering situations—for example, by taking breaks or retreating to a safe space.

Additionally, consider developing a code word with a trusted person. This way, if you feel overwhelmed or triggered, you can discreetly signal your need for emotional support. If you’re feeling stressed or anxious, don’t hesitate to talk to a trusted professional, such as a counsellor. It’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling, and expressing difficult emotions can be an important part of the healing process.

Please take care of your well-being,

Valerie Gosselin

Registered Psychotherapist & Mental Health Advocate

Clinical Director, Evolve Counselling & Coaching